Checking in on My New Year's Resolution Mid-Year

Is it just me or does checking in on our New Year’s Resolutions feel particularly weird this year? It’s no question that 2020 has been anything but ordinary (to put it lightly), and after stumbling on some photos from my 2020 New Year’s trip this week I realized just how bizarre it is to think back on all the things I resolved to do this year that clearly didn’t quite pan out the way I thought they would.

Back in January I shared a post all about my number one resolution for 2020, which was simple - to Just Start Going. Or so I thought it was simple. Now, having spent the past five months in some semblance of quarantine, the thought of “just starting” all of the things I thought I would be starting this year feels kind of ridiculous. So today I wanted to share a post about how I’m reflecting on where I’m at with that resolution more than halfway through the year and how I hope to adapt it to these crazy circumstances going forward.

When I first resolved to ‘Just Start Going’ on whatever it was that I wanted to do this year, I’m pretty sure I was thinking in somewhat literal terms. To me, ‘Going’ meant a lot of things, but one of them was without a doubt *Going* to new places in the most literal sense of the word. I wanted to go to Asia, and go to South America. I wanted to book a show somewhere I’d never been before, or see some part of the world I’d never seen. Clearly, those plans would have to shift.

Another project I was determined to “Just Start Going” for was creating a We The Dreamers convention for creatives - essentially a meet-up for a collective of like-minded artists and dreamers where people could share ideas and art and music and insights. Obviously, a big in-person get together was just not in the cards for this anomaly of a year.

I also planned to “Go” on tour quite a bit for my music career in 2020. Among the places I was supposed to go on tour this year were Europe and Australia, and it was a huge bummer to have to put those plans on hold.

Basically, I’ve had to really shift my perspective in terms of what “Just Start Going” means in a world where going places is, to say the least, not exactly the move right now.

Despite the fact that it’s definitely weird and at times tough to think about the ‘what could have been’s, I think it’s also essential to be extremely grateful for our health, our relationships and our ability to adapt. So in the spirit of adapting, here are three ways I’m applying this resolution in a more abstract way for the rest of 2020:

Just Start Going Outside of My Comfort Zone

I used to think of going outside of my comfort zone as something I did when I traveled somewhere new, went to a big gathering as an introvert (insert hand raise emoji here), or did something generally extravagant and ‘crazy.’ But I’m realizing that there are so many ways to challenge myself that don’t involve going far away or even leaving my house. In fact, some of the most challenging journeys outside of my comfort zone have happened when I’m by myself.

Right now, I’m working on challenging myself to go outside of my comfort zone in terms of my self-talk. I grew up thinking that deprecating jokes and humor were the best way to be relatable (to the point that my friends actually began calling me ‘Self DepreKate’ a few years ago…lol) but I’ve learned that it can also be harmful. I’m challenging myself to learn the difference between self-talk that’s just a casual dumb joke versus something that at the core makes me feel like garbage about myself. Not an easy distinction but a super important one I think!

This year I’m also challenging myself to take a much harder look at the systems of racial inequality that exist in our country. I have a ton of work to do but I’m committed to getting uncomfortable and learning how to do better. It’s also important to note that I do not view racial justice work and education as some self-improvement exercise, but as the much bigger necessity that it is and something that I should be actively participating in.

Just Start Going For It (Before I’m Good At It)

This year has caused so many of us to have to make pivots and changes in terms of how we live our lives and how we do our jobs, and I’m pretty sure that my toxic trait is that I absolutely dread doing something before I’m awesome at it. Ridiculous, I know.

I’m realizing that there’s literally no possible way to ‘risk-proof’ everything before I start doing it, and that just like learning a new language has required me to table my fear of looking stupid or messing up, so will pivoting my career or life to adapt to the new normal. I’m never gonna get it right on the first try, and that’s OK.

Just Start Going Green

If I’m being honest this is one category where I very much still need to do better, but it’s something that I’ve become so much more aware of it during quarantine. I used to feel like in order to ‘go green’ I had to go to the ultimate zero waste extreme or it didn’t count (hello perfectionism!), but now I realize that even small changes make a big difference.

While it’s true that most of us are driving and flying much less than we typically do right now, I personally can’t exactly claim that as some holier-than-thou act of environmentalism because it’s really not an active choice I’m making. What I have realized, though, is that there are a lot of choices I can make right now and going forward to make my lifestyle a little bit greener.

Whether it’s starting my own backyard garden (which I’m excited to do with the help of this awesome book by Nicole Burke very soon), composting, or slowly eliminating plastic from my everyday life I’m starting to see how this season can be a great opportunity to spend some time improving the way I consume and create trash on a daily basis.

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This year has definitely been full of crazy surprises and unexpected changes, but I’m hoping I can keep finding ways to make the most of it and keep my resolution in new creative ways.

Did you make any new Year’s Resolutions for 2020? How are you shifting them given everything going on?