Anxiety About Going Back to Normal Is... Normal

We’ve officially arrived at the part of the pandemic where all the headlines have started celebrating the ‘return to normal,’ and while I love to see it as much as anyone, I’m also - for lack of a better term - kind of freaked out.

Kate here, and today I wanna unpack why it’s more than okay if you’re anxious about going ‘back to normal.’

Seeing my sis for the first time since last year this month!

First, I think it’s really crucial to acknowledge that we are extremely privileged in the US to even be flirting with the idea of ‘back to normal’ right now. The pandemic is still a very real threat, and in many other parts of the world where vaccines are widely unavailable or delayed, it continues to have a heavy impact. 

Part of the reason this influx of ‘get ready for back to normal’ content seems so off-putting to me is because it all seems to be presented in a cheeky, lighthearted voice usually reserved for ‘get ready for back to school!’ tips. And I get it - we all could use a healthy dose of light-hearted ANYTHING right now, me included. But does anyone else feel like we’re all just kind of glossing over the fact that this is still very much going on, here and elsewhere??

Now that we’ve established the fact that this is a lot more complex than a simple flip of the switch, “normal’s back!” vibe, I wanna talk about why it’s ok to feel anxious about the normal stuff that’s started to come back. 

Last year, I wrote all about why it’s ok not to be ok, and even though it’s a bit of a different concept, I also think it’s ok not to be ok with ‘normal,’ whatever that means.

It’s OK if…

You learned what relationships truly matter to you...and which kind of don’t. 

I think we can all agree that being forced to talk to and hang with anybody outside our immediate household over Zoom for 15 months was a pretty telling way to find out who we can truly lean on during a difficult time, and who we can’t. 

Personally, I felt like I learned so much about which relationships in my life truly mattered, and which ones were maybe a lot more shallow or fake than I ever realized.  

And let me clarify that I’m definitely not saying if you didn’t Zoom weekly with someone during covid that relationship doesn’t matter to you - Some of the people I value most in my life are the ones I ‘see’ (whether in person or over Zoom) most infrequently, but I think I felt a lot of relief once I gave myself permission to let go of certain relationships (personal and work related) that showed themselves for what they really were during this time. 

Now that we can start actually hugging our favorite humans again, it’s hugely freeing to have a better sense of clarity about who those humans are, and who we were maybe spending time with for the wrong reasons.

You aren’t ready to travel, go maskless, dine indoors, or do other stuff that’s technically “allowed” now just yet

With regulations varying state by state and county by county here in the US, it’s pretty safe to say that it’s been impossible to make any blanket statements about what’s “allowed” and what’s not at any given point during this whole thing, and with restrictions lifting everywhere it can feel super overwhelming trying to sort through what you feel comfortable with and what still feels weird.

Taking every decision on a case-by-case basis was one of the hardest parts of the pandemic for me, because it was constant decision-fatigue. Now that there are a lot more options for things that we can technically do, those decisions have only multiplied.

For me, letting myself off the hook on this one and going at my own pace has been huge. In California, we’ve had outdoor dining open for months now, but I didn’t feel ready to eat outside until two weeks ago. And you don’t need some elaborate explanation for why you feel the way you do either. Just allow yourself to go at the pace that feels right for you.

You realized you actually like being at home more than _____.

After months of everyone complaining about being stuck in the house, I actually found myself feeling really guilty recently for realizing how much I’ve enjoyed aspects of being home.

Obviously, the reasons for which I was at home were horrible - but there’s nothing wrong with realizing you like working, teaching, learning, exercising, or doing whatever else from home better than the alternative.

You made changes during the pandemic that actually suit who you are better than what you were doing before.

Before 2020, my husband and I had always wanted a dog but never could commit to getting one because of how much we traveled for work. We thought that our spontaneous lifestyle was just ‘too crazy’ to adapt to the types of routines we felt would only be fair for a dog.

As most of you know, we got our sweet rescue pup Nola a few months into the pandemic, and she has truly been one of the best things I’ve ever done in my life. I realized that while I still really value traveling and being spontaneous at times, I would much rather sacrifice certain aspects of that if it means I can have a dog and the routines that come with it. 

Whether you moved to a new town, made changes in your relationship, or completely did a career 180 because of the pandemic, it’s more than okay if you don’t want to go ‘back’ to whatever you were doing before.

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How are you feeling about all this ‘back to normal’ talk? What are some things you’ve learned about yourself over this past year that you want to take with you as ‘normal’ starts to inch it’s way closer?