How to Engage With Your Life: 5 Things I'm Doing Differently in 2022
If you’re anything like me, the start of a new year or season often brings about moments of reflection, reevaluation, and a renewed sense of perspective.
In early January, I was sitting on the couch after work, and out of nowhere, a thought popped into my head that said, “I’m not engaging with my life.” I’d never even heard that idea before—or at least I don’t remember hearing it, but all of a sudden, I had this moment of clarity where I was like…I don’t want this to be my status quo.
I didn’t feel sad or dissatisfied with my life at all, I was just feeling bored and unengaged…and like I could probably do something about it.
Once I realized this, I first reminded myself that it’s okay—everyone has these seasons, and I don’t think that the combination of a global pandemic and the winter blues was helping. Instead of spiraling into a pit of shame which is typically my first instinct, I decided to do some research about the best way to move forward.
In my research, I stumbled on some really helpful reflection questions. I asked myself:
Am I engaged in my day to day life?
Do I invite and create opportunities to learn and grow?
Do I pursue new opportunities?
Do I create time to engage with beautiful things?
Do I allow myself time to play, regardless of my age? → LOVED this one
Do I develop connections with people?
Does my work/job generally energize or deplete me?
Am I currently supporting my passions and interests?
How do I contribute to greater society?
How do I carry myself around others?
(More great insight from Road to Growth Counseling and Susan C. Young)
These questions helped me notice a few key things:
I was doing my hobbies way less, like crafting, sewing, and baking
I was disengaged at work (granted, I was in a role that wasn’t a great fit for me at the time, but still…better to be engaged)
I spent free time scrolling on social media or worrying about the future
I wasn’t actively following up with friends and family as often as I’d like to
I wasn’t moving or exercising as much
I knew that I wouldn’t be able to tackle all of these things at once, but having the self awareness to understand what engaging with my life looks like and doesn’t look like was the first step for me.
Here’s what actions I’m taking in 2022 to better engage with my life:
1. Take stock of how I spend my time.
I started with an exercise where I wrote down everything I did each hour of the day. That can feel daunting or overly detailed, but it really helped me see how I was using my time.
Once I did this, when I’d reach for my phone to scroll Instagram, I was more conscious of the amount of time I should spend. I became more intentional about picking up my phone and saying to myself, “I’m going to scroll Instagram for ten minutes to see what my friends/family are up to, then go back to reading.” This not only helped me set boundaries with my time, but also made me feel less guilty because I felt that picking up my phone had a clear purpose and I wasn’t just doing it out of habit or boredom.
I’ve also started to try to plan out my days as detailed as I can the night before, with the caveat that I can’t expect things to go perfectly. If I’m intentional about scheduling time to go for a 20-minute walk or read for 30 minutes before bed, I’m more likely to actually do them.
2. Reflect + re-evaluate.
The questions I answered above initially are questions I want to continue to ask myself. I already write down three things I’m grateful for each morning, but I plan to start monthly and weekly reflection exercises as well, answering questions like: What went well? Where are there still opportunities for growth? Is there anywhere I need to create more balance? What opportunities did I take advantage of? When was I outside of my comfort zone? What are some goals I can set for this week/month?
3. Push myself to do things despite having no motivation.
Why is it so hard to remember that I don’t have to feel motivated in order to do something?
I’ve learned that sometimes it’s easier for me to just get up and start walking around until I do something, whether I find myself at my sewing machine (peep the baby dinos I made for my friends’ kids recently), picking up a book (currently reading and loving Lilac Girls), or leaving the apartment to get some fresh air.
The first step is just getting up, even if you don’t know where you’re going.
4. Take baby steps.
I handle change way better when I take small, incremental steps. If I put too much pressure on myself, I feel paralyzed.
I want to exercise and move more but I don’t want to overdo it and or do it for the wrong reasons. So, I’ve started with 15-minute workouts in the morning three days a week, plus an afternoon walk, and while that might not seem like a lot, it’s making a difference.
5. Read, research, and seek advice + help.
Ultimately, I just want to push myself to strive for more curiosity and creativity, and less certainty and control. And as someone who loves certainty, this is tough for me to do. In addition to reading articles and books, there are plenty of professionals out there who can help guide us along in these journeys.
All this said, I try to remind myself that I don’t always have to be doing something productive or trying insanely hard to be enthusiastic about life. I just need to be self-aware, mindful of how I spend my time, and intentional about the things that bring me joy and give me energy.
Life is never going to be perfect. But I’ve decided that I’m going to actively choose blind faith over belligerent fear, and unrelenting vulnerability over unattainable perfection.
What are you doing differently this year? We’d love to hear in the comments below <3
