How To Deal When You Feel Powerless
Feeling like everything is out of your control is probably a familiar sentiment for most of us these days. So much is uncertain. And it’s incredibly heavy watching what’s happening around the world.
Kate here - and I’m hoping you and yours are staying safe and healthy amidst all of this madness. For me, I think it’s the feeling of powerlessness that’s so difficult right now. Anyone else feel this way?
Last week I had to make a physical list of ‘stuff to do that isn’t refreshing twitter’ because i found myself obsessively looking at it with the expectation of some new development. And the reality is? If i’m already doing everything I can to do my part, socially distance myself, and make sure i’m washing my hands and taking all hygienic precautions, what good does it do to keep reading everybody’s thoughts on how this thing is gonna play out?
Staying informed is important, but in the age of everyone having a megaphone in their hand via their smartphone it can also be difficult to know if you’re reading facts and news or just peoples opinions. There’s also the element of click bait, and we’re all too familiar with the media’s love of fear mongering if it means more clicks and more views. It's truly exhausting trying to sift through it all and make sense of how we ‘should’ feel about it.
Last week we shared a post about 15 things to do while social distancing, so if you’re in need of a little indoor life inspiration, check out our list.
Today I wanna share 5 tools that are helping me navigate the major anxiety I’ve been experiencing as a result of everything related to the pandemic. Keep in mind that these are just things that are working for me right now, and in no way am I trying to make it seem like I have the answers. I think it’s just helpful if we all share what’s making life a little less chaotic for us in these crazy times.
Here are five rules I’ve created and am trying to stick to in this crazy uncertain time to keep myself from spiraling into panic and general bummerville:
Take a damn shower and get ready like its a normal day.
As someone who works from home most of the time, this is something i’ve really come to discover is important. If it’s tempting when we work from home on a normal day to stay in our PJs, it’s that much more tempting to do so when we’re literally quarantining ourselves in our homes to avoid spreading a pandemic. For me, treating these days at home like normal work or weekend days is helping immensely.
I’m letting myself off the hook on the weekends, because let’s be real - sometimes I stay in PJs and binge netflix on a normal, non quarantine weekend. But during the weekdays i’m doing my best to stay on my normal work schedule, which means waking up at the same time, showering, and putting on an actual respectable outfit that isn’t sweatpants. I’m the type of person who feels like myself when I put on a pair of cute earrings, so i’m doing little things like that to help me feel like me as much as possible.
The way I see it, you don’t have to put together some amazing outfit or put on a bunch of makeup or do your hair. Allow yourself to feel however you need to feel, but know that taking care of yourself and showing yourself some love can make a big difference during stressful seasons.
Limit my use of news apps, twitter, and TV news.
This one is massive for me, because as I mentioned I have a serious tendency to think that because twitter never stops refreshing, that means new and relevant information must be coming in every time it does. We all know this is totally false, but our brains are hard wired to get addicted to stuff like this and it can be so hard to stop once we start.
I’m placing time limits on the apps I succumb to the most, which in a case like this is twitter and news. i’ll allow myself 30 minutes a day to check for updates and stay informed, but after that i’m trying desperately to shut that shit down.
Take a deep breath and try to remember this is temporary.
One of the things that’s been really difficult for me is the fact that this is such a new and different experience and something i’ve been lucky enough to never have to think about. It can be easy to fall into the mindset that this is going to be our new normal, and i’ve definitely found myself fearing that things will never be the way they were.
While all of those feelings are valid, I think one of the things that’s helping me a lot is reminding myself that this is not going to last forever. We need to all do our part to flatten the curve and make sure we’re doing all we can to prevent the worst and protect the vulnerable, but at the core I truly believe we will get through this season and it will eventually pass.
Move. In any sense of the word.
I am the type of person who is usually most motivated to work out when I have to leave my house and attend some kind of class to do it. I’ve never been a runner, and I’ve always struggled to work out at home because I’m not “on the hook” or accountable to anyone except myself. Since I’m staying home and going to a class isn’t an option, I’ve been trying to get in a short yoga session or stretch every morning. To be honest, it’s been challenging and it’s the last thing I want to do.
But despite the fact that I haven’t “felt like” doing it once, every time I do it really helps to calm my anxiety. It also creates an element of routine, and I think having rituals is incredibly important in situations like this. It’s easy to get stuck if we don’t create some kind of schedule for ourselves, so I’m slowly learning how much even the smallest, seemingly insignificant amount of movement can make a difference.
Also? If you can take a walk outside (and practice social distancing staying at least 6 feet away from others) DO IT. Being in nature has made a massive difference for me this past week and has helped to ground me so much.
Meditate and/or practice mindfulness.
Whether you already have a meditation practice or not, you’ve probably read or heard about the many studies that suggest meditation can have a profound impact on our mindset and ease stress. Practicing meditation every day is somewhat new to me, because I’ve always wanted to do it but found myself being super inconsistent with it. Because I’m challenging myself to do a bit of yoga and stretch every morning, immediately afterward I’ve been meditating for about ten minutes.
I’m still discovering what type of practice works best for me, but just getting quiet, focusing on the present moment and being mindful seems to already be helping. There are a million ways to be meditative - maybe you’re a spiritual person and you pray, or you’re just looking for something to ground you, or you find that spending time with your pet is meditative - there’s really no wrong way to do it. It’s just about being in the moment and connecting to something bigger than yourself.
So those are the five rules I’m trying to stick to during this time at home. I think we’re all still finding our way during this difficult season, but the more we can share our stories and strategies with each other the better chance we’ll have of successfully flattening the curve of this thing and keeping each other safe.
So please stay home, stay safe, and stay hopeful. Here’s to beating this thing one day at a time together!
